


Where's Max?

by Moby_Dickhead



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Haven't updated in forever, M/M, Multiple ships, Neglect, Sad boi hours, Shipping, absolutley no motivation, poor Max :c, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-09 21:58:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13490625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moby_Dickhead/pseuds/Moby_Dickhead
Summary: Nikki, Neil, and Max couldn't keep in contact all year because none of them had phones at the time of camp.The next year comes around, Neil and Nikki are SO excited to see each other again. When they get picked up they soon realise that Max isn't in the bus with them.Max never showed up.Why?





	1. Where's Max?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on posting a new chapter each Friday, I've already pre written the first couple of chapters so the first couple of weeks I'll be posting regularly.
> 
> But knowing me I'll probably go off schedual sometimes.
> 
> I have no idea how long this'll be
> 
> But I hope you like it!
> 
> Make sure to give me criticism if you have any! *^* It helps me write better next time.

...Everyone was gone...

 

Max sat inside of the mess hall, silently sitting beside David, Mr. Honey nuts pressed up against his chest. The only sound being that of the crickets and the wind outside. The sunset was shining through the open windows of the building. Nikki had left with her mom, then Neil had left with his dad a long while ago. Soon enough Max was the only camper left on the camp site. A while had gone by with just David, Gwen, and Max left. David kept thinking positive and reassuring Max that his parents would come soon for sure...They didn't... and when they took too long Gwen had to leave, leaving only David and Max to wait for his parents.

 

"I didn't know that they cared so little that they wouldn't even come..." David said, breaking the silence between them that was there ever since Gwen left. "I'm sorry." Max looked up at David, _what's with him and being so weird lately? It was much different from his usual positive and happy attitude._ Max thought.

 

"It's not your fault they don't care." Max replied.

 

"I don't know what we're going to do if they don't come." The silence came back, Max didn't know what to say to that, because he didn't know what they'd do either. The sun had come down and the positivity in David had dissipated, it seemed as though an hour had passed, even though they were sure it was only about 20 minutes. All hope was lost, or so they thought, until they both saw a light shine through the windows of the mess hall. Now the only sound being the wind, the crickets, and the sounds of a car outside. David stood up and walked to the window, looking out.

 

"Max I think your parents are here!" David said, seeming more happy then Max, who looked up staring at the grown man. He stood up and walked out the door with David short behind. It really was his parents, Max had thought that they weren't going to come at all. Max picked up his suitcase and put it in the trunk of the car, while he still held onto Mr. Honey Nuts. He closed the trunk and walked up to David.

 

"Thank You, David... i'll see you next year." With that David smiled at Max, before he walked into the backseat of the car.

 

"Have a good year Max!" David called out to him, waving him goodbye. Max waved back as his parents drove away.

 

A week or two ago Max would've been happy to leave that place. Apparently he'd forgotten how bad his parents were. It'd only been a couple of minutes since he'd left Camp Campbell but he could already tell that he was going to miss it. As much as it pained him to even think about the Camp that way. Max wished that he had a phone, so that he could keep in touch with Neil and Nikki over the year, but sadly his parents hadn't gotten him one yet. So all he could do is yearn for next summer to come quickly.

 

"What took you so damn long." Max said, unlike David, his parents couldn't give two shits if he cursed or not.

 

"Your mom and I forgot." His dad said. In other words they forgot about him... Figures.. Max turned to his side, not bothering to buckle, like his parents cared... he held tightly onto Mr. Honey Nuts and closed his eyes, reminiscing about the times that he spent at camp. He wonders what Nikki and Neil are doing right now.

__________________________________

 

**Next year~**

 

Nikki waited eagerly, last year's memories coursing in her mind. She just couldn't wait! She held two suitcases on either side of her. Her style being a little different from last years. Instead of red overalls over a yellow shirt, she now wore blue jean shorts and a yellow short sleeve shirt, much like the one she wore beneath her overalls. Her hair, instead of being in pig tails was let down, to lay on her shoulders like a big, fluffy, teal cloud. A year can change someone. Just as fast as the year went by, the bus came by. The doors opened to reveal a familiar face.

 

"Hello quartermaster!" Nikki beamed, happy to be back on the bus. She'd finally be able to talk to Neil and Max!! She took a hold of her suitcases, turned around and said goodbye to her mom as she walked into the bus. In the front seat sat Preston and Dolf, who were talking, both looking similar but like Nikki, different. Nikki noticed that Dolf had started to grow out a small mustache, while Preston's hair was a whole lot shorter then the previous year. A couple seats behind them Nerris was sitting alone, looking out the window, across from her sat Harrison, also looking out the window, his hair looked a bit longer than what she remembered. Nikki assumed that they'd had their first fight of the year mere seconds ago. Some seats behind Harrison sat Space kid, who looked practically the same, he was even still wearing his fish bowl. Space kid was being pestered by Nerf, who sat behind him. Nerf looked a bit fatter than last year, and he was starting to grow a beard. Most important of all, Neil sat at the backseat of the bus, looking directly at Nikki, who had to fight every urge in her body not to squeal in excitement from seeing him. She immediately ran to where Neil was sitting and threw her bags to the seat across from him, plopping down beside the boy. She looked up at him and started to analyze the differences from when she'd last seen him.

 

Neil had grown quite tall, and he was starting to grow some facial hair. Some pimples showed on his forehead but that was a regular occurrence with people their age. He was wearing a yellow dress shirt under a brown sleeveless sweater. He was also wearing black pants to go along with the outfit, which was a lot different from last summer. Neil had changed more than Nikki this year.

 

"Wow what happened to you?" She said, happy to see him after this whole time.

 

"Puberty." He said, Nikki jumped back a little, alarmed at the pitch of his voice, it was deeper. Much deeper, she was taken off guard.

 

"Jesus your voice! Puberty hit you hard Neil."

 

"You have no idea." He said. Nikki took another quick look around the bus.

 

"Where's Max...? Also Ered isn't here."

 

"I don't know... I was hoping that Ered not being here was a sign that the bus hadn't stopped picking up passengers, but I heard that Ered isn't coming this year." Neil explained.

"Wait, how? Why?" Nikki asked confused.

 

"Dolf said that they kept in contact during the school year. Her dads refused to bring her back after they had to arrest the founder of the camp."

 

"Yeah... that makes sense... wait... so, am I the last stop?!" Neil looked back at her wearily. " **AM I THE LAST STOP?!?!** " She said louder this time, grabbing the attention of everyone on the bus. Nikki got up and stomped to the front of the bus, all eyes on her now. Guess she was being too loud. "Excuse me quartermaster am I the last kid you have to pick up?" She asked. The place was silent, a long pause of nothing but the sounds of the wheels turning and the bus creaking.

 

"Yeah." He grumbled out. To that everyone started shifting in their seats, looking around at the passengers on the bus. Nikki froze. Does that mean that Max wasn't coming? She slowly trudged back into her seat, looking dazed and confused.

 

"Is Max... not coming?" Neil asked finally, after the two had been siting there silently for a couple minutes.

 

"I hope not... do you think he'll meet us there?" Nikki said, locking eyes with Neil, who looked slightly worried.

 

"I don't know if his parents would care enough to actually drive him there, they barely cared at all to pick him up." Nikki remembered, Max was the only kid who didn't have parents on parents day.

 

"But his parents dropped him off at camp so they didn't have to deal with him, they can't just not do it this year." Nikki said, looking down at the black bus floor. The trees looking like blurred green lines as they passed by the window. Neil and Nikki sat silently for a moment, grieving about the possibility that Max might not be coming.

 

"So, how was your year?" Neil asked, trying to change the subject to something a little less depressing.

 

"Oh, the same old same old. Being outcast for not being lady enough, I made a couple new friends, we play Call of Duty together every once in awhile. They're cool I guess...I did some things I've never done before, though I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear about it." Neil got the idea of what she was talking about, though a million unwanted things crossed his mind.

 

"Same here." He said, a slight cringe in his voice. Nikki dismissed the tone, still being almost as innocent as last year.

 

Neil looked out the window, still thinking of Max, how could he not? He's waited all year to see him again, he doesn't know what he'll do if he's not here. Max was the most abstract friend he's ever had, he wasn't like the rest of the kids who acted like him, he didn't mind that Neil was a nerd. Sure, he called him a nerd, but he was, and he didn't bully him for it. Neil thought that they had a lot of fun last year, was it just him? Max really was serious about escaping that place.. guess he got what he wanted...

 

"What was your year like?" Nikki asked him, breaking his train of thought.

 

"I'm being bullied less, though it still happens... I've been going through a lot of changes in my life. My mom moved, so I've been staying with my dad more. Who, by the way, got quartersister from your mom, so... " Nikki giggled at that, which put a smile on Neil's face.

 

"Yeah, my mom does that a lot.." Neil and Nikki laughed together, until Nerf walked over and took the seat in front of them. He hung over the seat, looking at the two.

 

"So, do you guys know where Max is?" He asked. Neil's face dropped a little, suddenly being reminded of the subject that he'd wanted to avoid. Preston and Dolf soon came over and took the seats beside them and Nerf.

 

"Yeah, where's Max?" Preston said across from them.

 

"Why should we know?" Neil declared, unsure of who to look at when talking to three people at once.

 

"Because you guys were stuck together all summer." Nerf added.

 

"We didn't talk to him all year, he didn't have a phone so he had no way to contact us." Nikki said before Neil could add anything.

 

"So you don't know **where** he is?" Preston asked.

 

"No, we thought he was coming this year." Neil announced sadly, just wanting to stop talking about Max so much, but that wasn't going to happen.

 

"Do you think he's not coming at all?" Dolf asked.

 

"It looks like it..." Nikki said, looking down at the floor. Neil frowned. Dolf, who got what he wanted, stood up and walked back to his seat in the front of the bus.

 

"Shame, he was the only one I really liked." Nerf said, as he stood up and walked back to go pester Space kid some more.

 

"I hope he shows up." Preston said, talking to himself more than to Nikki and Neil. He'd stood up and took his seat next to Dolf again, leaving Nikki and Neil. Ok then, Neil thought. Neil searched his mind for a conversation topic, hoping that Nikki would say something. Neil sucked at making up things to talk about.

 

"If you could have any animal as a pet, which one would you choose?" Nikki asked. It was obvious she had the same mind set as Neil, that she just wanted to stop thinking about Max cause it made her sad. It made Neil sad. A lot of catching up was in order. There was no need to talk about Max, they quite frankly didn't want to talk about him.

 

After what seemed like a couple minutes the bus stopped, though the bus ride had lasted longer than that. Nikki and Neil had just been lost in conversation for the last hour. They shared glances as all the kids stood up and started to walk off the bus with their baggage. Nikki stood up and did the same as the others, when she got off she was greeted with two familiar faces.

 

David and Gwen.

 

The two immediate took notice of Gwen's changes, which were very obvious. Instead of the usual reddish brown her hair was last year, her hair had changed colors. It was now, black.

 

David's smile shown from ear to ear, happy to be back and working at Camp Campbell. He scanned the crowd, and noticed some campers were missing. Nikki noticed his wide grin had faltered for a split second, but he recollected himself.

 

"Welcome! I'm sure all of you are glad to be back at Camp Campbell as much as I am!" The crowd stayed silent. "Alright, well you guys may or may not know already, but since Cameron Campbell has been arrested last year, your new and improved Camp Director is now... Me!" David's face lit up, clearly exasperated about the new change. Still... the crowd stayed silent, David's attitude didn't falter though. "Alrighty then, so seeing that there are no new campers I don't need to give a tour. So... whose hungry?!" The crowd this time, didn't stay silent, but a big roar echoed throughout the forest. Neil just clapped his hands while Nikki jumped up and shouted. The group of kids eventually made their way into the mess hall and got their food. As soon as Nikki walked into the mess hall she'd noticed some changes, like the tables, there were new ones. The usually worn out and torn curtains were replaced with new ones, though they were the same color of green as they use to be. Guess some things got replaced now that David ran the camp.

 

"Alright everyone, there has been some changes throughout camp. Do you see that table over there?" Gwen said, pointing to the only round table in the room. "That's the counselor's table. In other words, don't sit there." Nikki and Neil waited in line together, so that they could chose a seat.

 

"We should sit somewhere far away from everyone else." Neil suggested. It looked like everyone was sitting far away from the counselor's table, so they took a seat as close to it as possible.

 

Neil looked down and examined the stuff on his tray, "I think I forgot how bad the food was." He said, slightly poking at his plate. He looked toward Nikki who'd already had a mouthful of the plastic looking lunch in her mouth.

 

"I don't mind." She said, with her mouth still full. Neil smiled wearily at her. He took a spoon and scooped up a little, hesitantly putting it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, finding the food really salty and rather tasteless. Not to long had passed until Space kid came out of nowhere and took a seat beside Nikki.

 

"Hey guys." He said, Neil took a long look at the kid in front of him, why was he here?

 

"Hey Space Kid." Nikki replied, still managing to talk with all the food in her mouth.

 

"So, where's Max?" He asked. Neil's face faltered, that's why he's here...

 

"We don't know." Nikki told him.

 

"Really? I thought out of everyone you guys would know."

 

"Well we don't." Neil had snapped, angrier than he'd meant it to be. Space kid looked taken aback, until Nikki budged in.

 

"We didn't talk to him over the school year." Nikki and Space kid started to have their own conversation, though Neil didn't pay attention, he didn't really want to think about Max at the moment. He stared down at his tray, taking another bite of the "food" before tuning into a conversation being held at the counselor's table.

 

"Where's Max? I though he was coming this year." Gwen said, Neil could tell by the sound of her voice. God, was everyone talking about Max right now?

 

"I don't know, when he left he'd said "see you next year" and I assumed that meant he'd come this time.." David replied.

 

"Where do you think he is, what do you think happened?"

 

"I... don't know, I was actually looking forward to seeing him again. He hugged me.. I took that as a sign that he'd definitely be here." David said that, no way he said that, Neil thought. David's the last person that Max would hug, but Neil recognized the voice. Max hugged David?

 

"Apparently not." Even the counselor's didn't know where Max was... no, stop thinking of Max! Neil looked at his food, and decided he wasn't going to eat it anymore, so he stood up and walked out of the mess hall doors. Everyone was looking at him but that didn't stop him from leaving. He took a seat on the grass, Alone, that's how he preferred it. Slowly, Neil laid down in the grass, he looked out into the sky, which was a combination of baby blue and white, searching his mind to think about something. Anything. Anything but Max. Not even a couple of minutes had passed and just as Neil had suspected, somebody came out of the mess hall to check on him. He turned to look at the figure, expected it to be Nikki, but to his surprise it was David. Neil looked up at him, dumbfounded as he sat down beside him.

 

"Hey..." Neil said, holding back from asking him where Max is, he already knew that David didn't know.

 

"Hey, why'd you come out here?" He asked, looking down at the small child. Neil hesitated... should he tell him why?

 

"Everyone was talking about Max.. I needed to get out and stop thinking about him. It just makes me miss him more than I already have all year." David nodded. A silence fell between them as they both listened to the sounds of nature around them.

 

"I miss him too, despite his many attempts to, well, hurt me. He tried to make me feel sad all year, and yet I miss him.. I wonder where he is, what happened to him? I thought he was coming this year."

 

"So did I! He told me himself, "see you next year" that's what he said!"

 

"He said that to me too." David locked eyes with Neil. "But I'm sure it's not his fault." He reassured Neil. "Sometimes campers come in the middle of the summer, maybe that's what Max will do." Neil gave a soft humorless chuckle.

 

"I hope so..."

 

"Hey Neil."

 

"Hmm?" David looked up at the sky with Neil.

 

"You know, you can come talk to me anytime. Tell me anything that's on your mind.. think of me as a guidance counselor." Neil looked at David, who looked out onto the blue sky. Something in his eyes, though Neil couldn't quite figure out what.

 

"Thank you, David." He said.

 

"No problem."

 

Neil looked out onto the sky with David, thinking about how he had really bonded with Max last summer, and Nikki. They were a trio, a gang. They were tied together, stuck to each other like glue. Neil hoped that that was the case, that it really wasn't Max's fault and that he would come in the middle of camp.

 

Day by day...

 

Week by week...

 

He'd hoped All summer...

 

And yet Max never showed up.

 


	2. Why's he gone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is only the second chapter and I still posted it really late XD
> 
> I ended up adding a part to the story last minute because I felt like it wasn't long enough. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it! *^*
> 
> (Just to tell you what's in the chapter)
> 
> WARNINGS!!!  
> ________________  
> *Drug Usage  
> *Gayness

"Hey Neil, glad to see you here." David said, taking a seat in front of where Neil had sat down. It was lights out and all of the campers were in their tents for the night, well, all but one. A week or two had passed since the first day at camp and this is the first time Neil had seeked the comfort of David. They both stayed mute inside of the counselor's cabin. "So why are you here today?" David asked, breaking the silence. Neil stayed quiet for a couple beats.

 

"I can't stop thinking about him." He said finally. David knew who he was talking about. "I couldn't stop thinking about him all year, and I was so excited to see him again.. but he didn't show up, I thought we were close and that he'd wanted to see me again but maybe I'm wrong, maybe that was just me..."

 

"Just because he isn't here doesn't mean that he doesn't care." David reassured him.

 

"It's Max, David, he doesn't care about anything." David knew that was true.

 

"...He's human, he has to care about something."

 

"Does he? Why hasn't he come then?" Neil stood up from his seat and started walking back and forth in a line across the room. "Maybe he's one of those people who don't care about anything, he IS one of those people... I thought he cared, I thought he just wanted to hide the fact that he did...God I can't believe I fell for him.. it! Fell for it." Neil stopped in his tracks and felt his face heating up, he'd messed up and he knew David noticed. He was caught off guard by Neil's sudden slip up.

 

"Oh." Was all David could think to say. "Is there something else you aren't telling me, Neil?" Neil put his face in his palm and sat back down. _Fuck. Should he lie?_ He thought.

 

"I... yeah.. yeah there is." He didn't expect to be coming out here, now, not to David. "I liked Max... Well. I still like him I guess.." David started to form a small smile, but cleared his throat and covered it up with a serious face.

 

"I know this must've been hard to say." David said. "But I'm glad you did. I'm glad you came to me." David couldn't hold it back anymore, he smiled now, stars in his eyes. He was just so happy that Neil felt comfortable enough to share such a secret with him. Neil looked up at him, embarrassment shown on his face, he couldn't believe he just told David, of all people. "You know... I like guys too." David said, Neil's eyes widened a bit, he was taken off guard by David's words.

 

"Really..? What about Bonquisha?"

 

"I like girls too, plus she was very masculine and manly. What about you? Do you like girls too?" David smiled slightly, glad to be having conversation with one of his campers.

 

"I guess? I wouldn't know I haven't exactly kissed a girl.. or a guy for that matter." God it was so weird to be talking about this with David.

 

"So how do you know you like guys?" David asked, he knew the answer to that because he'd experienced the same thing when he was young, almost exactly the same thing. He too had a crush on a camper of the same sex, he remembered all too well what it felt like, but the question he just asked was mandatory. He needed Neil to put it into words.

 

"I just know, I feel.. more of an attraction to guys than girls." David nodded as he spoke.

 

"I know how you feel." David replied. Neil smiled a bit, feeling a bit more comfortable and secure knowing that they think the same.

 

"Don't tell anyone." Neil snapped.

 

"I wasn't planning to." He felt relieved now, having one of the only secrets he's kept out. He stood up.

 

"I should... go sleep now." David nodded.

 

"You can come back any time you want."

 

"Thank you, David."

 

"No problem." Neil walked out of the counselor's cabin and shut the door behind him. He sighed, a relieved sigh, as he walked back to his tent.

 

David sat in the empty room, as soon as Neil left David's face lit up. His smile shown ear to ear, he couldn't help but to do that. He squealed from happiness, and fist pumped. He was just too happy not to. This is the first time in all his years as a counselor that a camper came to him to talk about their feelings. And it went so well! David stood, jumping up and down, laughing, from a job well done. David was still jumping when Gwen walked in. Immediately he stopped hopping but he was still smiling and laughing.

 

"What're you so happy about?" She asked, closing the door behind her and walking to her bed.

 

"A camper came to talk to me about his feelings!" He said, throwing house arms in the air, he was trying not to bring Neil's name up.

 

"Neil?" David was caught off guard, he was expecting Gwen to ask who.

 

"Oh.. yeah Neil." He didn't let it parish his happiness though.

 

"I saw him walking to his tent, what'd he say?" Gwen asked, taking off her shoes.

 

"I can't tell you, he told me not to tell anyone." David said sternly, set on keeping his promise.

 

"Is he a furry?" Gwen asked.

 

"What's a furry...?" A little laugh came out of Gwen.

 

"You're so innocent sometimes." She started taking off her socks.

 

"Is it a sex thing? Why's that the first thing that came to your mind?"

 

"Is he gay?" She avoided David's question.

 

"Wha- no." He looked side to side, he couldn't look at Gwen when he lied, she smirked.

 

"You're terrible at lying." She said happily, now knowing half of Neil's secret, David wasn't going to let her know the other half though.

 

"Don't tell anyone." He told her, just to make sure that she knew.

 

"Yeah, I know." She laid down on her bed, not bothering to get under the blanket as she closed her eyes. "I expected that out of him." She said after a couple beats of silence.

 

"Really? I'm the actual gay one and I didn't." Gwen opened her eyes and looked at David with a smile.

 

"Maybe I just have better gaydar than you." She shrugged. "I have another prediction for who's gay. If you wanna hear it." David turned to her, interested.

 

"Alright. Throw it at me."

"Preston." She said flatly. David sat there, contemplating on if he was going to be gay or not... yeah, she's totally right, he is gay.

 

"I believe it." David said. Gwen sat there for awhile, with her eyes still closed. They sat there in silence until she stood up and started to take her pants off, David saw only an inch or two of her purple underwear before he covered his eyes and looked away. "What are you doing?!" He asked, a little louder than he'd expected it to come out.

 

"Getting comfortable, I always sleep pants less." David heard the pants drop to the floor when Gwen threw it.

 

"Yeah, but you don't get undressed right in front of me!"

 

"It's not like you haven't seen it before." Gwen said chuckling a little to herself, David swallowed hard.

 

"Hey! That was an accident, and it was one time!" David's voice got higher at the end of the sentence. He heard the springs creak as Gwen sat down on the bed. He assumed that that meant she was under her covers now, so slowly he took his hand away from his eyes. Only to see Gwen sitting down, facing him, pants less, while she was taking off her bra with her shirt still on. "Ah!" He averted his eyes again, this time covering them with both hands.

 

"It's not weird unless you make it weird, David." Gwen said, throwing her bra on the floor. "Plus aren't you gay."

 

"I still like girls..." he said quietly.

"Yeah, but do you like me?" She asked getting under the covers of her bed for real this time.

 

"No." David said flatly, he felt his face get hotter, It was easier not to look away from Gwen and give away that he was lying when he already had his eyes covered.

 

"Then it's not weird.. plus I'm under the covers now anyway." But it was weird, because in all honesty David did like Gwen. He hesitantly took his hands away from his eyes and this time saw that she was actually under the covers. He put his hands to his sides. "You're a real gentleman though, any other man would just stare. That's why I feel comfortable enough to get undressed in front of you." She explained. David smiled at that, he was glad that she felt that way. Gwen turned to her side and closed her eyes. "Goodnight David."

 

"Goodnight Gwen."

__________________________________

 

Neil walked back to his tent, feeling the cold, damp night air hit his face. Before he reached the sleeping area though he stopped in his tracks. Listening to the sound of the water hit the shore and the crickets chirping. Neil took a deep breath in, inhaling the smell of dew and woodland creatures nearby. He had just told David the biggest secret that he'd ever kept to himself. David. Of all people. Not his mom, dad, or Nikki... David.

 

Neil continued walking, and finally made it to his tent. He climbed inside and made his way under his blanket. Since the camp now has 8 people, that means each camper can have their own tent. Neil laid there for not even 5 minutes until his tent got zipped open and the silhouette of Nikki came into view.

 

"Pssst... Neil." She whispered. He sat up.

 

"Yeah yeah, I know. Hold on." He said rubbing his eyes. Neil snatched a jacket he laid beside his sleeping bag and put it on. Nikki moved out of his way as he crawled outside of his tent, zipping it back up and following Nikki as she led him to the docks. Almost nightly they snuck out of their tents after lights out and just sat on the dock, looking out onto the lake. Watching the moon light shine across the water was relaxing, he loved sharing moments like these with his best friend. Though he'd prefer to share it with his best friends.

 

Nikki, as usual, sat down and dipped her feet into the water, while Neil sat with his legs crossed. Neil loved technology and air conditioning, don't get him wrong, but he also loved moments like these. Where he can just watch the beauty of nature, where he feels the relaxing breeze on his face while listening to the soothing sounds of the terrain surrounding him. Neil savored these moments, and these were the memories he held onto when he returned to school, away from his friends.

 

"So... why'd you get to your tent so late?" Nikki asked, breaking the silence between them.

 

"I talked to David." He answered bleakly, trying his best not to have to tell his secret to two people in one day.

 

"About what?" Neil mentally slapped himself. _I should've just lied_ , he thought.

 

"Um.. Max." Nikki flinched a little bit at her friend's name.

 

"...Oh." She said. There was a muteness that fell upon them again. Neil was glad that she didn't ask for any more information. Throughout the first two weeks of camp neither Nikki or Neil talked about Max. They didn't really want to, it made them miss him more. "I really miss him Neil..." She admitted.

 

"I know Nikki... me too."

 

"Why do you think he didn't make it?"

 

"I don't know... maybe he moved out of his parents house and couldn't make it cause his grandparents lived far away." Neil tried his best to come up with a rational idea.

 

"I sure hope his grandparents let him come if that's true then... Heh, have you noticed how David seems to have less wounds then last year?" Nikki joked, they both laughed about how true it was. The sounds of the crickets and water can be heard. But there was something else that Neil picked up on. It sounded something like... someone coughing. Not just sick coughing or you swallowed something wrong coughing. **HARD** coughing. Neil looked over at Nikki.

 

"You hear that?" He asked. Nikki nodded, not wanting to say anything so that they could hear it better. The coughing continued without stopping.

 

"Let's go check it out!" She whisper/ yelled. Nikki jumped up to her feet and followed the sound. Neil hesitated, trying to decide if he should go or not. Reluctantly he got up, following Nikki and the sound, the closer they got the louder the coughing became. Neil could hear the individual desperate breaths for air. Soon enough Nikki and Neil found the source of the coughing. They hid behind a nearby bush and pushed the leaves away so that they could watch as David coughed aggressively.

 

"Is.. David smoking a... cigarette?" Neil asked, throughly confused as he stared at the round, brown stick in his hand.

 

"It looks like it." Nikki whispered. David finally stoped coughing and took a long drink of the water sitting beside him. After he calmed down his breaths for awhile he took another swig of the thing in his hand. This time coughing much much less. Neil and Nikki sat there watching in amazement as David did something nobody knew of. Neil sniffed the air.

 

"It doesn't smell like a cigarette.. though we might be too far away." Neil said, Nikki aggressively sniffed the air to smell what was wafting around David. Suddenly, unexpectedly, an itch came about in Nikki's nose.

 

"Oh no." She whispered, pinching her nose with her fingers to stop her from sneezing.

 

"What?" Neil asked, oblivious to what was happening to her.

 

"aaa.. **aaAAACHOO**." Neil fell on his butt by the sheer surprise of her sudden loud outburst. Oh no, he thought. Neil looked up when he noticed David's shadow looming over him.

 

"What are you two doing out this late at night?" He asked sternly.

 

"Why are **YOU** doing out this late at night, David?!" Neil asked, point by an accusing finger at him.

 

"Yeah! Smoking cigarettes?! How dare you David?" David burst out laughing.

 

"Cigarettes? That's disgusting, Nikki. How low do you think of me?"

 

"Then what are you smo- o... oh.. ooooooohhhhh." Neil began but then realized what exactly David had been doing. Nikki, being innocent, didn't catch on just as quickly.

 

"What? Is there something I'm missing? What are you smoking?" David stayed silent.

 

"I'm not smoking anything." He lied, looking to his right with his arm behind his back.

 

"Oh god you're a terrible liar." Neil stated, standing up and whiling the dirt off his butt from his fall. "He's smoking weed, Nikki." Neil turned and looked up at David. "Which is something I never expected from you, but I guess that's why you're so happy all the time" David sighed, knowing that the jig is up. He didn't want to smoke in front of the kids or waste his weed, so he put his blunt out on a nearby tree. He patted the plant, feeling bad that he'd mildly hurt it with fire.

 

"What's weed?" Nikki asked. David chuckled a little bit.

 

"It's a drug. It's grown out of the earth, but it's not like all the other drugs. It cures some kinds of cancer and helps with pain. It's good for you." Neil explained, cause he knew David wouldn't.

 

"I... Don't tell anyone... please." David begged. Not wanting it to get around to the kids, Gwen already knew, but that's because she also smokes weed. David remembered the first time they smoked together, in that brief moment the picture of them watching Bob Ross popped into his mind. But then a ping of guilt hit him as he remembered the other part of that memory, he completely forgot that he had to run a camp of kids that day. _I guess that's the only bad thing about weed_ , David thought.

 

"You smoke drugs?!" Nikki yelled in surprise, Ignoring David's question.

 

"Shhh!" David put a finger to his lips and looked around for any sign that anyone else had heard that, nobody did.

 

"Holy crap David that's not like you at all." Nikki stated.

 

"Well... you don't know everything about me. AND. You won't tell anyone, right Nikki?"

 

"Right." She agreed with a nod of her head, knowing perfectly well that she was going to tell everyone.

 

"Right." Neil said, but he had the intention of actually keeping that promise.

 

"Good. So now, you guys go to your tents and sleep like you were suppose to."

 

"We'll tell everyone that you smoke weed if you don't let us raid the kitchen and stay up tonight." Nikki said mischievously. Neil was just going to go to his tent peacefully but he liked this idea better. David froze, his eyes open wide.

 

"Well... gosh darn heck, kids.." he face palmed. "Ugh, fine, go take what you want." David said gesturing towards the mess hall doors. Neil and Nikki looked at each other, smiling.

 

"Race you there!" Nikki yelled as she sprinted toward the cafeteria.

 

"Hey no fair you got a head start!" Neil shouted, following after her. After awhile David took out his blunt and lit it again. Finishing it off before the munchies took a hold of him. So he ran after the kids to go raid the kitchen with them.

__________________________________

 

Neil looked to the left and then to the right, making sure there was no one in sight. It was a Saturday and that meant that there were no scheduled activities. Neil took this opportunity to whip out the phone and headphones he managed to smuggle into camp. He walked out into the open of Preston's stage, knowing that he was talking to Dolf and wouldn't be preforming any time soon. He walked onto the stage and behind the curtains, sitting down on the ground. Taking out his phone, he put the headphones in and started listening to music. The begging of the song Anyone Who Knows What Love Is rang out into Neil's ears, recently Neil had been watching a show on Netflix called Black Mirror and this song popped up in a lot of episodes. Neil couldn't help but fall in love with it.

 

_"You can blame me. Try to shame me, and still I'll care for you... you can run around. Even put me down, still I'll be there for you."_

 

Neil sat there, listening to the words carefully. Sounds a lot like Max actually, he thought. Max was always one to snap at you or say snide remarks, but those little love kernels that he gave you every once in awhile, it made you know that he genuinely loved you, or at least liked you. Even if he never said it, or at least that's what Neil had thought last year. Maybe he was wrong, maybe Max actually didn't care. But maybe it wasn't his fault he wasn't here, and Max had no way of telling them he wanted to see them.

 

Neil hung his head in his hands. He wasn't able to stop thinking about Max all throughout the school year, and still he can't get him out of his mind. He moved his head forcefully back onto the wooden wall behind him, a loud bang echoed throughout the stage, and his head hurt a little from the force. Every time it's quiet or every time that he's trying to go to bed. Whenever Neil has any time to actually think about something he always thinks of Max. Is this how it's going to be until he sees him again? Will he ever see Max again...? The question drifted through Neil's mind, the thought of never talking to Max again genuinely scared him. He desperately wanted to see him again, it's been a year since he's seen him, how long will he have to wait?

 

Neil closed his eyes and listened to the soothing sounds of the song. He sighed, why did he think going here and listening to music alone would be a good idea? It would only make him think of Max even more than he already does. If anything he should've surrounded himself with people and conversation, but Neil being Neil, which is anti social, he decided not to. And now he was stuck with his own thoughts on Max that only make him miss him more. He's almost positive that Max doesn't feel the same way right now. Suddenly Neil saw movement in front of him, which popped him out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes to see Preston, standing there looking at him, Neil took out his headphones.

 

" **Hey** , what're you doing here?" He asked

 

"Listening to music." Preston took notice of what was in Neil's hand.

 

" **No way!** You have a phone?"

 

"Shh, don't say it so loud." Neil looked around and found out what he already knew, that they were alone, he hoped nobody had heard Preston's loud voice. It seemed that he had a problem with volume control.

 

"Oh yeah, sorry." Preston whispered, he walked over to Neil and sat down beside him.

 

"I thought you were talking to Dolf."

 

"I was, but then we stopped. There was too much awkward silence for me. Plus I can't look at him and not think of Hitler, especially with that mustache he has now." Neil giggled.

 

"I know right! It's like he's the reincarnation of Hitler or something." They laughed together.

 

"That's Donald Trump sweetheart." Neil nodded his head furiously.

 

"That's very true."

 

" **So** whatcha listening to?" Preston asked him.

 

"Anyone who knows what love is, by Irma Thomas."

 

"Oh, the song in Black Mirror?"

 

"Yeah, that one. You've seen black mirror?" Neil asked.

 

"Oh yeah, every episode, some of them twice even. I just love how twisted it is. They're a great bunch of stories." He explained.

 

"Which one is your favorite?"

 

"San Junipero, it just warms my heart." Preston looked off into the distance, a flame of passion burning in his eyes. "What about you?"

 

"Hated in the nation. I like how thousands of people end up dying all because of one persons mistakes, also the science involved in the story." Preston looked back at his face, as Neil looked away, he hated eye contact.

 

"Wow, that's really morbid. **I love it!** "Neil smiled to himself while staring at the ground. This is much better, he thought, this is more fitting than surrounding myself with conversation. It'll make me forget about Max for awhile.

 

"Were you going to come here to practice your acting?" Neil asked.

 

"You know me so well." Preston smiled. "It would be great to have a partner though, or would you prefer to be the audience?"

 

"Just watching is fine for me."

 

"Are you sure?" Neil nodded. "Alright suit yourself." He stood up and walked to the front of the curtain, Neil followed behind, walked down the stage, and took one of the front seats in the middle row. Preston stood center stage and started the play with a booming voice.

 

"Late in the night, a man came about, and spotted a little old cottage, where a woman came out."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you guys like the idea of David being a stoner? I personally think it makes a lot of sense. While I was coming up with that idea I was rationalizing it in my mind. Like who else that isn't high and is that passionate about camp forgets he has to take care of a camp? And weed is just nature, so David would gladly smoke it.
> 
> The next chapter will be coming out on February 9th! (And it'll be all about Max)
> 
> Thank you for reading :3


	3. After Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about Max! After the season 2 finale when school begins. 
> 
> WARNINGS  
> __________________
> 
> Max gets sad ಥ_ಥ

Max sat bored out of his mind in the classroom. He laid his chin on his hand and stared off into space as the teacher explained something called the Order of Operations. He was in 5th grade and only being there for 2 weeks he's already come to realize it isn't as much as it led up to be. In 4th grade the hype for 5th was real, it being the last year you have in elementary school. Max wasn't excited though, he never was when it came to school. It's been only 3 weeks since he's last seen Neil and Nikki, his only real friends, and he's surprised by how much he missed them already. He's never missed anyone or anything before... Well anything other than Mr. Honeynuts. 310 days until he'll be able to see them again. Max was keeping count, he'd never wanted something so bad that he kept count. It even surprised him how much he'd wanted to talk to them, of course he'd never say that out loud.

 

Max looked at the clock. _3:28_ , his mom should be here any minute now, since she's already 8 minutes late. His mom was always late when it came to things involving Max. She was never late when it was _**her**_ own dentist appointment, or going to _**her**_ friend's house, or going to _**her**_ doctor. But when it was Max's dentist appointment, when Max went to someone's house, or what she was late to today, his Behavior Moderation Therapy she was always, ALWAYS late. Max was use to it now, when she said she'd be there at 3:20, Max expected her at 3:30. It was just routine at this point.

 

Max sat there waiting. It was now 3:35 and yet his mom still wasn't there. Suddenly the phone rang in the classroom and Max's heart jumped. _Finally I get out of this hell hole_ , he thought. The teacher picked up the phone and after a couple minutes he hung up, but to Max's surprise he didn't say anyone's name. He continued teaching. _Dammit_ , the call wasn't about him. He checked the clock. _3:37_ , One more minute and school will be out. She was 17 minutes late. Mr. Skilton passed out the homework and when Max got it he knew he wasn't gonna do it. He put it in his binder so he could do it in the morning tomorrow. The bell rang loudly throughout the classroom as Max stood up with them. He figured if she was going to be this late she wasn't going to come at all, and that he wouldn't be going to Therapy today. He walked to his cubby, grabbed his book bag, and headed out to the buses.

 

The buses were always in the bus loop, which was a big circle that led out into the road to home. Max's bus was the very front one, the first one to leave. He was also the first stop on his bus so he was the very first student to go home. He usually sat in the back of the bus and put his headphones in, so that's what he did. He doesn't have a phone but he had an MP3 player. Which was so stupid, it's 2017 and his parents had gotten him an MP3 player. It's really cheap because it's outdated, and that's the only reason he has it. He looked around at all the kids on their phones and felt a pang of jealousy. Quickly, before anyone could sit next to him, he put his book bag beside him and looked out the window. The song started into his ears.

 

" _Hello darkness my old friend. I've come to talk to you again_." Max knew this song was really edgy but he liked it, so that didn't stop him from listening to it. The bus started and went on its regular route. Max hadn't noticed that they had been parked until about 5 minutes in, he was too into his music. He looked over his seats to see why they were stopped for so long, and noticed a good majority of the kids were surrounding the big glass at the front of the bus. Max stood up and walked into the big pool of people, pushing people aside so he could see, he was a rather short kid. Soon enough he made his way to the front and was terrified as to what he saw in front of him.

 

There was a terribly destroyed car in the ditch where they were building a McDonalds near the school, it has crashed. But the thing that terrified Max was that he recognized that car. That was his car, it was the car that was outside of his house everyday. There were police everywhere and an ambulance. He saw his mom, seemingly unconscious, covered in blood and glass being carried into the red and white car.

 

"Alright, alright back up kids you don't need to see this!" The bus driver said rushing the kids back into their seats. Max slowly moved back and slumped down in his seat, looking out the window and paying attention to the red and blue lights flashing on the windows. He didn't know what to think, he didn't know how to think. Is his mom ok? Is she dead? What would happen to his dad and him if she were? They don't have a car anymore... now he knows why she was late... after about 10 minutes or so the bus started again, and Max got to see the aftermath of the crash one last time. It hit him hard, he couldn't move, not even to put his headphones in. The usually loud bus was now silent, and it stayed like that all the way home.

 

When the bus had stopped at his house Max silently got up, walked to the front of the bus, and realized that he had forgotten his book bag in his seat. Everyone watched him as he walked back, picked it up, and walked off. The bus drove on past his house, Max stopped in his tracks once he'd gotten to his yard. He'd have to tell his dad about what happened. He didn't want to do that. Should he run? And not confront him. It would be worth it, but Max decided, hesitantly, that he would walk up the stairs and tell his dad. Upon open rim the door, which was right in the kitchen, he spotted his dad laying on the couch, only wearing his boxers and sleep t-shirt.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked Max after he shut the door behind him.

 

"Dad..." he said in a weary voice, god he hated this. "Mom crashed on her way to school. She's been driven to the hospital." He said bluntly, Max couldn't read the expression on his dad's face. It looked like a mix of surprise and sadness, but a bit of madness and disappointment in between.

 

"What?" Was all he could say, Max's dad sat up and started at the kid. "Is she ok?"

 

"I don't know, I only saw the aftermath while I was on the bus." His dad got up immediately and put a pair of pants that were just laying around on.

 

"C'mon." He said rushing past Max with his keys in his hand to the door. Hesitantly he put down his book bag and followed. The drive to the hospital was excruciatingly long. Max never took himself as the type to really care about his mom, since she didn't care much about him. But he couldn't help but worry, his mom was in the hospital, she crashed into a ditch. Images of the crash popped into his mind. He remembered seeing his mom being carried to the ambulance covered in glass and blood. What if she was about to die? It sure looked like she was. Finally they stopped, Max's dad scrambled out of the car with Max following shortly behind. Somehow his dad had burst through the doors, despite them being motion censored. "Where's my wife?!" He yelled at the lady behind the counter. Max quietly stood behind his dad. It smelt sanitary and clean, there were nurses walking around looking as though they had somewhere to go. Max tried to pay attention to them, to anything other than his mom. He just didn't want to think about it. The hospital was silent in his mind, he knew it wasn't really, he was just blocking out the noise. The sound of his dad yelling brought him back to consciousness. "I want to see my wife!" He yelled.

 

"I'm sorry sir, you can't do that. She's been in a serious crash and is going into urgent surgery right now. Only doctors are allowed in the room."

 

"Is she going to be alright?" He asked.

 

"We hope so." The woman said. "But yelling at me won't make it any better, so I'm going to have to ask you to wait over there." She pointed over to the half square of chairs all seated in front of a TV. Some of the chairs were occupied with equally uneasy looking gentlemen. Max's dad huffed and angry sigh as he walked over to the seat farthest away from everyone. Max followed behind, skipping the seat beside his dad and taking the next one.

 

All at once the realization hit him, he slouched and slumped his shoulders as he held his forehead in his hands. His mom, one of his only guardians, the one who gave birth to him is having surgery right now. Having two guardians that didn't care was bad enough, if she died today he'd have one depressed dad who'd probably give even less shits about him than he already does. "We hope so." The nurses words echoed throughout his head. That was probably the woman's nicest way of saying that she wouldn't be fine.

 

 _It was his fault_ , he thought. If he wasn't such an aggressive little shit his mom wouldn't have to take him to Behavioral Correction Therapy, and his mom wouldn't have crashed. His mom wouldn't be in surgery right now, Max would be home laying in bed listening to music, or watching TV. But no. He has to be so stubborn and get his mom killed because of it. The room was silent, except for the sounds of medical equipment beeping and the commercials on TV. Max’s mind was a jumbled mess, he hadn’t expected this day to go at all like it had been. So much has happened in less than an hour.  
 

  
Max and his dad sat there for hours and hours it seemed. New people would come in and sit down while some people left, but not them. They stayed, waiting for something, anything, to tell them that she’s alright. Finally after what seemed like days to Max a nurse came around the corner and faced them.

 

“There is a patient calling for Max, is there a Max here?” She asked. Max stood up staring at her.

  
   
“I’m his dad, i’m going too.” His dad said, putting his foot down. The nurse didn’t object and let him follow along. She led them behind a curtain and into a room where his mom lay on the bed. Max’s dad immediately ran over to her, while Max stayed in place, staring at his mom. She looked weak and weary, he’s never seen her like this before. She still had blood all over her but the glass had been removed, her eyes were half opened, almost as though she could fall unconscious at any minute. That didn't stop his dad from holding her hand in between his. Her eyes slowly drifted over to him.

 

"Max." She said weakly, her voice sounding hoarse.

 

"W-what mom?" He said, walking forward. He saw her hand clutch his dads harder as she locked eyes with him.

 

"I'm going to die.. Max I'm sorry I couldn't raise you, or that I've never actually tried to... I realize now... where I went wrong." Her words hit Max like a brick. Was she actually caring now? Seriously? Right before she was going to die?! She turned to face her husband. “Please... Raise him...Care. Don’t do what we’ve been doing for years honey… know that I love you too.” Her breathing became heavier and it looked like she was struggling to keep her lungs functioning regularly. Max really hoped that she would live so that he would have a parent that actually cared for once. Somehow Max knew that if she were to pass that his dad would be worse than usual. A hissing noise started to escape her everytime she breathed.

 

“Sweetheart?” His dad said, worry in his voice. “Honey?!” He asked louder. Beeps from the various machines in the room filled the silent air. The only machine that Max knew it’s actual purpose, the heart monitor, became slower... _Beep... Beep... Beep..._ All of a sudden a team of doctors rushed into the room.

  
   
“It’s time to leave now.” One of them said, pushing Max and his dad out of the room. Max obeyed, but his dad tried to put up a little fight.

  
   
“ **NO**! Is she going to be alright?” He asked loudly, standing his ground and not letting the doctors push him out the door.

  
   
“She might be if you leave, but the longer you stay here the less her chance of living is so get out, please.” One of the doctors said, her patients obviously running low with him. Finally he walks out of the room. They close the curtain, Max can hear the sounds of them trying to help his mother.

 

“Hurry we’re losing her!” One of them said. His dad collapsed to the floor, and curled up into a ball, rocking himself back and forth. He didn’t seem to care that he was in a public place. Max stood there, staring at the pathetic sight of his dad breaking down. He tried so hard to make himself look so tough and yet here he was, curled up into a ball of panic and sorrow. Max wasn’t emotionally capable of doing that, breaking down, that was something he had never done. Not when his dog died, not when he was forced to go to camp, not when his parents didn’t care, and not when his mom is in the next room literally dieing. For the most part he stayed calm and collected. Internally he was screaming at himself, his thoughts telling him that all of this was his fault, but he had practically mastered the art of looking like he didn’t care. Max closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

 _Beep… Beep… Beep……  Beep…… Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_. The familiar sound of the heart monitor picking up no beat filled the air. Max’s eyes opened abruptly and wide, looking at his dad who had stopped rocking himself. He was frozen in place at the sound of his wife’s heart not working. Max knew, deep down, that she wasn’t going to survive this, and that him and his dad would be driving home without her tonight.

 

“ _CLEAR_!” One of the doctors yelled.

  
   
**FWOOMP...**

  
   
“ _CLEAR_!”

  
   
**FWOOMP...**  
 

  
Max turned around, knowing that it was too late for his mom, and leaving his grieving dad to go sit in the waiting room. Max plopped down into the seat, sinking into its cushioned backrest, expecting to be there awhile.

 

__________________________________

 

 

“WOAH! DAD SLOW DOWN!” Max yelled practically falling out of his seat. He put his seatbelt on, finally, after seeing how his dad was driving the car. He looked at his face and saw tears streaming down his cheeks as he recklessly drove into town. “ **FUCK** DAD ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!” To that his dad slowed down, but only a little bit. Max could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to crash the car and die, just like how his mom died… He can’t believe his mom died.. Less than an hour ago she was alive and talking to him, and told him that she loved him. Max hated that word, and now he hated it even more. Every time he heard it called to him it sent unpleasant shivers up his spine, it made him feel revolted and very uncomfortable. He felt disgusted just thinking about how anyone could even remotely love him, well… anyone alive that is. Max cringed as his dad accelerated. The familiar sight of the Dollar General told him that they were close to his house, he felt relieved at that fact. His dad took a sharp turn across the bridge to where their house was. “ **JESUS CHRIST**! JUST BECAUSE MOM IS DEAD DOESN’T MEAN WE HAVE TO BE!” The car all of a sudden stopped as Max’s dad forcefully hit the brake. Max’s seatbelt stayed in place as he was flung forward, the force of the stop knocked the breath out of his lungs. Max figured that it was way, way too soon to be talking about mom, and he was glad that he decided to put on his seat belt. He very well might’ve been flung through the window. Once he was able to catch his breath he took into notice that his dad was staring at him, his eyes bloodshot red and his cheeks wet.

 

“We might as well be.” He said, his voice cracked and he was sniffling. They stayed parked there for awhile before his dad started up the car again. They stopped abruptly in front of their little white house. Max couldn’t wait to get out of the car, he stumbled a little bit when he stood up, it was the aftermath of his dad’s crazy driving. He ran off toward the house and into his room, plopping down on his bed. He looked around at his white walls and for the first time felt as though there should be a change. Max grabbed his stuffed bear, Mr. Honeynuts, and held him in his arms tightly.

 

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself when he felt a single tear urging to come out of his eye. Quickly he wiped it away and held back the rest. Turning to his side, back to the door, not bothering to get under his blanket. He took in a long sniff of his bear and whimpered uncontrollably a little bit. It still smelled of camp. Images of Neil and Nikki popped into his mind. That’s what tipped him over the edge, much to his surprise, he hated that he couldn’t see them. Not even talk to them. Tears started to stream down his cheeks. Dammit Max don’t be such a wimp!  He thought. Max despised that he wasn’t able to tell the best friends he’s ever had about what had just happened. They wouldn’t know, but every fake and stupid person in his school would. They’d all come up to him and tell him how sorry they felt for him. He didn’t need their pity. Sobs started coming out of him, he couldn’t control it. He hadn’t sobbed like this in a long time. Jesus christ his mom just died! He didn’t expect this to happen until he was 30 or so. What was even more surprising is that his mom said I love you. Out of all the times she could have cared about him, should’ve cared about him, it was right before she died when she finally did.

 

_...it's my fault..._

 

_..it's my fault.._

 

_It's my fault._

 

_It's my fault!_

  
   
Max kept repeating the same thing in his head. It was perceived as true in his own mind. His face, pillow, and Mr. Honeynuts were damp with tears now. The distant sounds of his dad entering the house could be heard from his room, Max didn’t move, not to lock the door, he knew his dad never went into his room. A couple of sniffles left Max before he started to calm down, tear were still leaving his eyes despite the fact. Soon he heard the wails leaving his dad in the other room, it was so loud that Max could hear it through two doors. His dad’s cries were much different from Max’s, because his dad was more hurt by what had just happened, and he was more emotionally capable of doing so. Max sat up in bed, feeling the usual numbness in his heart that he felt daily. Getting up, he walked over to his dresser and took out a jacket his mom had gotten for his birthday the year before, in January. His mom said that he wore the same blue hoodie everyday and needed a new style, so she got him a hoodie that was exactly the same, except instead of Blue it was Black. Max took off his blue hoodie and slipped on the one he’s never put on before, even though he’s had it for over half a year.

 

My mom gave me this, he thought melting into the fresh and new hoodie. He walked back to his bed, the only sounds that could be heard were the cries of his dad in the next room. Max didn’t want to listen to that. He picked up his MP3 player from the inside of his blue hoodie, putting in his headphones and pressing play, the song started.

  
   
“ _Hello darkness my old friend_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple of chapters will be all about Max so buckle up buttercup.


	4. Living for myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was submitted a little late.
> 
> Also there's a song used in this chapter called I'm Gonna Win By: Rob Cantor  
> I suggest listening to it before reading the chapter.
> 
> WARNINGS  
> __________________
> 
> Alcoholism  
> Underage Drinking  
> Neglect

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Max was unmoved, he’d heard that phrase about 5,000 times at this point.

   
“Yeah, everyone is.” He said bluntly at the kid standing at his desk. This kid never even talked to him before his mom died. He looked offended, and walked away. Max liked that, he didn't want to talk to anyone before, but now more than ever. The only thing on Max’s mind was how soon the end of school was. Class went on as usual, Max sat there not paying attention, as usual.

  
His mom has been dead for a week now.

  
No new food was bought, no new therapy appointments were made, no clothes have been washed, no dishes have been cleaned, nothing. It seemed as though the event of his mom's death paused Max's and his dads life. Max sat there throughout class wondering if he'll ever go to therapy again, how much food was left in the pantry, and when his dad would stop being a mopey fuck. Deep down Max knew that it wouldn't come anytime soon, and he secretly felt bad about not being that sad about his mom. He didn't let it show though.

  
Before Max knew it the bell rang, he quickly gathered his things to get on the cramped bus home. Bumping into kids as he made his way down the hall with his black book bag on his back. He was glad that his book bag was black, because it matched his new daily outfit. Instead of his usual blue hoodie he wore the black one in public now. Some kids looked at him weird, confused about his sudden style change. He guessed that they figured it was because of his mom that he started wearing all black. Max didn't even know if it was because if his mom, he just felt more comfortable covered in the darkness of his clothes.

  
_And he secretly loved wearing something his mom had gotten him every day. He wasn't going to tell anyone that though._

  
The chill of the fall air hit his face as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. He turned instinctively right, like everyday. Taking out his MP3 player, he put his headphones in. _I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor_ began in his ears. He kept replaying it every time it ended.

_  
"My life is a constant entrapment of tunnels which tangle and wind and beguile, and regardless of where I may tumble or funnel I wonder what’s really worthwhile."_

  
Max has been listening to some pretty depressing songs recently. Though he really doesn't understand why. No real reason really. I just like them, it's not cause I'm sad or anything.. He verifies in his mind.

  
The bus went on it's usual route.

  
Max closed his eyes, flashbacks to the day he saw his mom crash popped into his mind. It was merely 2 weeks ago. He quickly pushed it away, trying to think about something else.

_  
"Sometimes it can seem like a merciless dream and I'm falling with nothing to hold._

_Sometimes I get blustered and beaten and blistered abandoned outside in the cold."_

  
Max had really grown fond of this song, he related to it in some lyrics. And he only recently found it. Desperate for something to think about, he remembers the moment he found it, on the computer in the library. He goes there often since he doesn't have a computer at home. That's where he downloads the songs to his MP3 player.

_  
"But I'm gonna win, I'm gonna try, I'll never lose, I'll never die._

_You've seen me before, you'll see me again. I'll never I've up, I'll never give in._

_  
Till I'm bloody and bruised._

_  
Till I've broken my bones._

_  
Till I won't be abused._

_  
Till I'm laughing alone."_

  
Before he knew it the bus stopped, Max opened his eyes abruptly and realized that it was his stop. He grimaced about facing his weeping das inside. Grabbing his book bag and standing up, he walked to the front of the bus. It felt as though everyone's eyes were on him, it sent shivers down Max's spine. He gladly walked off the bus, only to have that feeling melt away once the bus drove off without him. Max considered walking away and going to the forest across his house. It would sure feel better than walking into his quiet, empty house. The song continued in his ears.

_  
"It's hard to be charming and smart and disarming, it's hard to pretend you're the best._

 

It's hard to fulfill everyone's expectations it's hard to keep up with the rest."

  
He turned around, facing away from his house, ready to go forward and leave. But something held him back. He has to face his dad again, and he has to remind him that he has a son to take care of. Again.

  
Max finally caved in, and headed up his stairs to the front porch. He walked up to the door, gripped the handle, and struggled to open the broken door for the thousandth time. Like always he heard the loud barks of his dog on the other side. Finally once he was able to budge the door open Max was attacked with kisses from his Pit Bull, Max. Yeah, him and his dog had the same name.

  
(Guess who named him)

  
Max was almost the same height as Max, which was very impressive for a dog. Max was almost 11! He closed the door behind him and continued into the house. Max found his dad passed out on the couch, about 10 or so beer cans on their table. Max scoffed at his unconscious guardian. What a poor excuse for a parent, he thought as he walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, and frowned at the sight. It was completely empty except for the condiments and a couple boxes of beer. A thought popped into his mind when he saw the packs of bud light on the shelf.

  
What does this taste like, and what does it do to people? ...Well I know what it does to people. He stole another glance in his dads direction. But why? He asked himself as he stole a can of beer from the open package. Max looked over to the shelf they usually keep their waters, surprise surprise, it's empty. No waters so I might as well drink this, right? He verified in his mind while he opened the can. Just like soda, he thought as he brought the can to his nose. As quick as he brought the beer up it was brought back down. Max's nose crinkled. Doesn't smell like soda. Despite this Max still decided he wanted to try it.

  
"Here goes." He whispered to himself before he brought the cold container to his lips and chugged. Immediately cringing at the awful taste, he brought the can away, trying to swallow the last of it. He had to put his free hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't spit it out.

  
"UGH!" He exclaimed immediately after he swallowed it all. He looked over to his dad, the disgusted look still on his face. "Why the fuck do you drink this shit?" He questioned his unconscious dad. Knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, he walked over to the sink and poured the rest of the beer out, throwing the can away afterwards. I might as well throw the whole pack away. Max thought, he knew what it did to his dad after about 2 weeks of him drinking it everyday.

  
He decided not to, since it would be a huge waste of money and his dad would just buy more. Max walked into his room, away from his dad, empty fridge, messy living room, dirty laundry, and sink full of dishes. It just reminded him of how much work they have to do, and how much of a slob him and his dad were. Without his mom in the house they'll turn it into a pigsty in no time. They already have.

  
Max plopped down on his bed, ready to fall asleep at any minute. His eyes started to drift together when his stomach yelled at him to eat. His face changed into a neutral kind of agitated. _We don't have food_. Max thought, disappointed. He desperately didn't want to confront his dad about it but he knew he needed to. Max pushed himself up and walked to his door again, grabbing the handle and walking out, greeted by his dog once again.

  
"Dad wake up." He said, agitated, putting his hands in his black hoodie pocket. His dad didn't move. " **DAD**!!"

  
"Mmm no." His dad said faintly, half asleep.

  
"WAKE UP YOU STUID PEICE OF SHIT I NEED FOOD!!!" Max knew that he could call his dad such things when he's sleeping because he wouldn't remember them or do anything about it, not that he didn't snap at him anyway. It's just his dad was in such an emotionally vulnerable state that he wasn't sure if he would break down and cry or just hit him. In the 2 weeks Max's dad has been drinking he learned that he was pretty unpredictable when he was drunk (and sad), which was all the time now.

  
"Go... eat toast." His dad stated.

  
"There is no fucking toast moron." Max's dad opened his eyes finally, very slowly though. "You need to get off your ass and go to the store for food."

  
"I don't... feel like it."

  
"Well you never feel like doing anything! I need to eat, ya know, to **live**!"

  
"Why can't you do it?" Max face palmed. _God is he really this stupid_? Max asked himself.

  
"Because I'm **FUCKING 10!** I can't drive and I don't have money dip shit!" His dad pointed to a stray wallet on the messy table beside him.

  
"Get the wallet, it has money, go buy whatever you need." Max couldn't be surprised, he knew his dad didn't care, but seriously this was low.

  
"Ok, yeah, there's money but I still need a way to get there and back, plus space to put the groceries. And if I walk you aren't even a little bit worried if your 10 year old son could get kidnapped. What was the last thing mom said again? Care, was it? It sure looks like you're doing what she asked." And to that last part, Max's dad was fully awake. He sat up, a mixture of fury and sadness in his expression. He looked as stiff as a board, uncomfortable and ready to burst out with all his emotions at any second. Max stood there, half scared at what his dad might do, he was totally unpredictable right now.

  
"...You're right..." his dad said, a crack in his voice. Max sighed and relaxed his tense shoulders, now knowing that his dad wasn't going to do anything stupid. _Was I seriously just scared of him right now_? Max thought, unbelieving what he just felt. "I'll drive you just.. hold on... I need to get dressed"

  
"Finally, Jesus Christ. Call me when you're ready." He said, walking back into his room. _That went a little better than I thought it would_.

  
Max plopped down on his bed, the bounce of the springs echoing throughout the room. He laid there staring at the ceiling for awhile, wondering how he's gonna live like this for the next 8 years without his mom. Really, out of those two his mom was the one to even remotely take the tiniest bit of care for him. She's the reason he has an MP3 player, she's the reason they have the house, she's the reason he went to camp (at the time he didn't appreciate it but now he does since it's the reason he knows Neil and Nikki). She still didn't really nurture him, she just did more than his dad.

  
Max sat there for about 5 minutes more before it's been way to long for his dad not to call his name yet. It was then when Max realized that he should've never left his dad alone. He became disappointed as he walked to his door once more, grasped the handle, and opened it.

  
Revealing an unconscious dad on the couch.

  
" **God damnit**!" Max yelled to himself.

  
__________________________________

  
Max sat in his fold up seat behind a table full of all the useless things nobody used that were once in his house. The cold November air hit his face, making it numb with coldness, he'd been sitting out there awhile. A big neon green sign in front of the table read, _Yard Sale_. It was the only way to raise money for him to eat, since his dad spends practically all his pay check on alcohol. It's like he completely forgot that Max was a thing, a living thing, that needed food and water.

  
He made a mental list in his head of things he needed when he collects all the money in the end of the yard sale. Because his dad wouldn't get them for him.

  
1.) Toothbrush  
2.) Food  
3.) Dish soap  
4.) Shampoo  
5.) Conditioner  
6.) Toilet Paper  
7.) Paper towels (not a priority)  
8.) Laundry Detergent

  
Since his mom is gone, and his dad is depressed, all of the chores were put on him. He'd ask his dad to do anything, something, but he never did. Max has to take care of the trash, laundry, dishes, and the dog. All on his own. "It **fucking** _sucks_ " Max would say. Every night he has to pick up 10 or so beer cans from the table, that were right next to his dad's unconscious body. He doesn't even sleep in his bed anymore, the couch is his bed now.

  
It's been 2 months and 2 weeks since his mom died. His dad has been an alcoholic for that amount of time too. Max continued to wear his black hoodie matched with his black jeans and black combat boots. He had to steal money from his dads wallet to get them. Of course he didn't notice, he just thought he was too drunk to remember spending it.

  
_I wonder what Nikki and Neil are doing right now_... Max thought. He found himself thinking of them more and more recently. Ever since his mom passed he'd been desperately wanting to talk to them, to inform them of what happened. They'd try to comfort him but Max didn't necessarily want that, he just wanted them to know. He just wanted to talk about it to someone. But he had no friends, no real friends. The only people he considered friends are people he only get to see once a year.

  
Max sighed. He'd been outside for about 2 hours and only 5 or 6 people had come to buy something. He only has enough money for 1 maybe 2 items on his list. _It's going to be a hard 8 years_... He thought, dreading the future.

  
 _235 days until I can see Neil and Nikki again_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the others!
> 
> I'll make it up to you next week :0


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